Genre: MG Fantasy
Word count: 50,000
Query:
Dear Erica,
Thirteen-year-old Princess Leila thought her biggest problems were picking out which dress to wear and entertaining boring princes like Henrick. But when Leila is kidnapped by a dragon who plans to use her and the book-smart Princess Margriet as rescue bait to lure princes to his lair, she realizes her problems have only just begun.
The dragon's plan works when Prince Henrick arrives, eager to prove himself. Henrick longs to be a knight and wants to rescue the princesses. Instead, he ends up in the dragon’s belly. Now the princesses will not only have to save themselves, but also their “hero.”
TWO PRINCESSES, ONE PRINCE, AND A DRAGON is a 50,000-word MG fantasy novel with plenty of action, a touch of romance, and a dash of humor, told from Leila, Margriet, and Henrick's POV.
I am the author of a fantasy romance trilogy, Kingdom of Arnhem -Woman of Honor (2009), Knight of Glory (2010), and Champion of Valor (2011) published with Desert Breeze Publishing. Fifteen of my short works have appeared in various anthologies, including Mertales by Wyvern Publications, and many collections by Pill Hill Press.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.
250-word excerpt:
Princess Leila of Castle Javalyn wrinkled her nose in disgust. "No, not that one."
Her handmaiden, Thea, carefully laid the pink dress on top of the growing pile on the princess' bed. "We're running out of options," she said with a worried frown.
Leila crossed her arms. "I don't know why Mother got me that dress. It’s awful."
"Nothing looks awful on you."
Leila grinned. "You're just saying that."
Thea smiled back. "I might have to go to confession now," she agreed.
The princess laughed then sighed. "I'm not trying to be difficult." She wrinkled her nose. "Tea with Prince Henrick of Evereth. I hope he’s not boring."
"All I know is that he’s visiting princesses to find one to court." Thea held up a beautiful emerald green gown. "You might not look half bad in this one."
Leila stuck out her tongue and touched the silky material. "Yes, this one."
"A word of advice, Leila, you might want to keep your tongue in your mouth during tea."
Leila laughed again. Thea had been her handmaiden for ten of her thirteen years, and they were as close as sisters. "I'll try to keep that in mind."
Thea helped Leila dress. A little ground lily root made her face pale and white. Leila applied beeswax to her lips as Thea twisted her long red curls into the latest fashion. Her handmaiden reached into the pocket of her plain brown dress and applied some red powder to Leila’s cheeks.
QUERY
ReplyDeleteThis is cute. I like the bit about the dragon actually eating Henrick, and apparently he lives through that, which is intriguing. This query seems a little short though. Are there any other details about the plot you can add? How do these three feel about each other? Their relationship? I like how it's from the 3 POV's. I think that would be different.
250
The action tags in this are predictable. She sighed, Leila laughed. She wrinkled her nose. I'd like to see more in the action tags. Change them up a bit to keep the story flowing. This is a cute beginning, but if I'm being honest, I've seen the princess getting dressed beginning before in at least a couple books. Is there anywhere else you can start this? Think about what makes this story unique and start there ;o) The query was short so I would have read the whole thing, but the 250 didn't have enough for me to keep going.
Thank you for sharing your work ;o)