Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Super Intern Contest - PELE AND YO-YO
Genre: MG, Contemporary
Word count: 56,000
Query:
Dear Ms. Chapman,
Thirteen-year-old Ramon Mendes Figueroa is on track to become the principal cellist in the honors orchestra when an ugly break-up between his young uncle, El Guapo, and his cello instructor, Stefany, sends her to a new job a thousand miles away. Ramon doesn’t know if he can learn the difficult music without the Shakira-look-alike Stefany, plus he worries that his grandma might not be able to afford his continuing cello lessons.
Enter Yo-Yo, the stray dog who adopts Ramon the ill-fated night of the break-up. Ramon names the dog after his idol, Yo-Yo Ma, and feels a new, stronger drive to follow his dreams. But El Guapo threatens to ruin everything when he takes Yo-Yo to the shelter. And as if that weren't enough, the dog is adopted by a new girl at school, the only gringa on the local Latina soccer team, who renames him Pele.
When Ramon’s middle school friends discover who has the dog, they want Ramon to steal Yo-Yo back, and Ramon must decide for himself the right thing to do.
PELE AND YO-YO is an upper middle grade novel complete at 56,000 words. I earned an MFA in Creative Writing from the University of Washington and have a book of poetry, By the Nest, published by The Word Works in 2009.
Thanks for your time and consideration.
250-word excerpt:
My best friend, Julio, always said if he had a dog he'd name him Pele because Pele is the king of soccer, and Julio loved soccer more than he loved his very own birthday.
And then I would say if I had a dog I'd name him Yo-Yo, because Yo-Yo Ma is the king of cello, and I loved playing the cello more than I loved playing soccer.
Whenever we saw an awesome dog at the park, we'd argue about which name fit best, until I'd say to Julio, "Ay, loco, you mom's allergic," and he'd say to me, "Tonto, Ramon! You know your landlord says no animales." Then I'd punch his arm and he'd punch me back, like thirteen-year-old boys are supposed to, until the dog was out of sight.
On the day I found my dog Yo-Yo, Julio missed watching the Barca vs. Real Madrid game.
He never let me forget, but he didn't stay mad at me very long. He couldn't because it wasn't like I'd kidnapped him and made him go dog shopping or something.
It wasn't my fault he missed the game.
It was partly my grandma's fault.
My grandma, Abuela, had told Stefany to watch us even though I'm old enough to watch myself.
It was also partly Stefany's fault but Julio thought she was too pretty to blame. And Julio was a Barca fan, so when he heard Read Madrid beat Barcelona anyway, he couldn't care so much, right?
Word count: 56,000
Query:
Dear Ms. Chapman,
Thirteen-year-old Ramon Mendes Figueroa is on track to become the principal cellist in the honors orchestra when an ugly break-up between his young uncle, El Guapo, and his cello instructor, Stefany, sends her to a new job a thousand miles away. Ramon doesn’t know if he can learn the difficult music without the Shakira-look-alike Stefany, plus he worries that his grandma might not be able to afford his continuing cello lessons.
Enter Yo-Yo, the stray dog who adopts Ramon the ill-fated night of the break-up. Ramon names the dog after his idol, Yo-Yo Ma, and feels a new, stronger drive to follow his dreams. But El Guapo threatens to ruin everything when he takes Yo-Yo to the shelter. And as if that weren't enough, the dog is adopted by a new girl at school, the only gringa on the local Latina soccer team, who renames him Pele.
When Ramon’s middle school friends discover who has the dog, they want Ramon to steal Yo-Yo back, and Ramon must decide for himself the right thing to do.
PELE AND YO-YO is an upper middle grade novel complete at 56,000 words. I earned an MFA in Creative Writing from the University of Washington and have a book of poetry, By the Nest, published by The Word Works in 2009.
Thanks for your time and consideration.
250-word excerpt:
My best friend, Julio, always said if he had a dog he'd name him Pele because Pele is the king of soccer, and Julio loved soccer more than he loved his very own birthday.
And then I would say if I had a dog I'd name him Yo-Yo, because Yo-Yo Ma is the king of cello, and I loved playing the cello more than I loved playing soccer.
Whenever we saw an awesome dog at the park, we'd argue about which name fit best, until I'd say to Julio, "Ay, loco, you mom's allergic," and he'd say to me, "Tonto, Ramon! You know your landlord says no animales." Then I'd punch his arm and he'd punch me back, like thirteen-year-old boys are supposed to, until the dog was out of sight.
On the day I found my dog Yo-Yo, Julio missed watching the Barca vs. Real Madrid game.
He never let me forget, but he didn't stay mad at me very long. He couldn't because it wasn't like I'd kidnapped him and made him go dog shopping or something.
It wasn't my fault he missed the game.
It was partly my grandma's fault.
My grandma, Abuela, had told Stefany to watch us even though I'm old enough to watch myself.
It was also partly Stefany's fault but Julio thought she was too pretty to blame. And Julio was a Barca fan, so when he heard Read Madrid beat Barcelona anyway, he couldn't care so much, right?
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- THAT DOGGONE VOICE WORKSHOP
- DOGGONE VOICE: PEREGRINE
- DOGGONE VOICE: BETTER LIVES
- DOGGONE VOICE: BROKEN
- DOGGONE VOICE: MIRRORMASTERS
- DOGGONE VOICE: SPARK
- DOGGONE VOICE: SHADOWS OF DESTINY
- DOGGONE VOICE: WHERE THERE IS DARK
- DOGGONE VOICE: CROW'S REST (WIP)
- DOGGONE VOICE: FINDING ESTA
- DOGGONE VOICE: WHAT HAPPENS IN WATER
- DOGGONE VOICE: ABEL PIRATES
- DOGGONE VOICE: STARRY KNIGHT
- DOGGONE VOICE: FIRE'S KISS
- DOGGONE VOICE: KISSING FROGS
- DOGGONE VOICE: HARVESTER
- DOGGONE VOICE: THE SHIFTING DARKNESS
- DOGGONE VOICE: FREEBORN
- DOGGONE VOICE: RELIC
- DOGGONE VOICE: SHE CAME FROM THE HILL
- DOGGONE VOICE: LOVE IN REAL LIFE
- DOGGONE VOICE: SYLVAN LEGACY
- DOGGONE VOICE EXT: TAGESTRAUM
- DOGGONE VOICE EXT: THE UNLEASHING
- DOGGONE VOICE EXT: HAUNTED LEGACY
- DOGGONE VOICE EXT: SOUTHERN FORTUNE
- DOGGONE VOICE EXT: NIRVANA, INC.
- Entangle an editor with your pitch!
- THAT DOGGONE VOICE WORKSHOP ... entry winners
- New Workshop on Voice ... it's not as elusive as y...
- The Writer's Voice ... another success story (sort...
- Super Intern Contest ... winners and wrap-up
- Super Intern Contest ... starts now!
- Super Intern Contest - DRAGONS ARE PEOPLE, TOO
- Super Intern Contest - BETTER LIVES
- Super Intern Contest - WHAT THE WATER GAVE US
- Super Intern Contest - FIRE'S KISS
- Super Intern Contest - VIS DECOR: ALPHI
- Super Intern Contest - RACE TO BUTCH CASSIDY'S GO...
- Super Intern Contest - BROKEN
- Super Intern Contest - AN ABSENCE OF LIGHT
- Super Intern Contest - AND JAKOB FLEW THE FIEND A...
- Super Intern Contest - UNDER THE TREES
- Super Intern Contest - TWO PRINCESSES, ONE PRINCE...
- Super Intern Contest - DEAD SISTER DAYS
- Super Intern Contest - MY PROTECTOR: THE CALLING
- Super Intern Contest - GRACEFUL DEATH
- Super Intern Contest - THE IMAGINING OF ISADORA V...
- Super Intern Contest - OUTSIDE IN
- Super Intern Contest - SHE CAME FROM THE HILL
- Super Intern Contest - PLUGGED IN
- Super Intern Contest - DIAMOND TEARS
- Super Intern Contest - DUALITY
- Super Intern Contest - DAUGHTER OF THE MOON
- Super Intern Contest - CROSSING THE DEEP
- Super Intern Contest - ONLY ONE TIME
- Super Intern Contest - NUMBER BLUE
- Super Intern Contest - THE UNLEASHING
- Super Intern Contest - PELE AND YO-YO
- Super Intern Contest - FREEBORN
- Super Intern Contest - COVETED
- Super Intern Contest - I, SPY
- Super Intern Contest - GRIPPED
- BE HERE NOW: A Writer's Auction to Raise Funds for...
- Super Intern Contest ... entry winners
- A Pitch Madness Success ... the interview
- The Writer's Voice ... a success story
- Super Intern Contest
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2012
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June
(68)
- THAT DOGGONE VOICE WORKSHOP
- DOGGONE VOICE: PEREGRINE
- DOGGONE VOICE: BETTER LIVES
- DOGGONE VOICE: BROKEN
- DOGGONE VOICE: MIRRORMASTERS
- DOGGONE VOICE: SPARK
- DOGGONE VOICE: SHADOWS OF DESTINY
- DOGGONE VOICE: WHERE THERE IS DARK
- DOGGONE VOICE: CROW'S REST (WIP)
- DOGGONE VOICE: FINDING ESTA
- DOGGONE VOICE: WHAT HAPPENS IN WATER
- DOGGONE VOICE: ABEL PIRATES
- DOGGONE VOICE: STARRY KNIGHT
- DOGGONE VOICE: FIRE'S KISS
- DOGGONE VOICE: KISSING FROGS
- DOGGONE VOICE: HARVESTER
- DOGGONE VOICE: THE SHIFTING DARKNESS
- DOGGONE VOICE: FREEBORN
- DOGGONE VOICE: RELIC
- DOGGONE VOICE: SHE CAME FROM THE HILL
- DOGGONE VOICE: LOVE IN REAL LIFE
- DOGGONE VOICE: SYLVAN LEGACY
- DOGGONE VOICE EXT: TAGESTRAUM
- DOGGONE VOICE EXT: THE UNLEASHING
- DOGGONE VOICE EXT: HAUNTED LEGACY
- DOGGONE VOICE EXT: SOUTHERN FORTUNE
- DOGGONE VOICE EXT: NIRVANA, INC.
- Entangle an editor with your pitch!
- THAT DOGGONE VOICE WORKSHOP ... entry winners
- New Workshop on Voice ... it's not as elusive as y...
- The Writer's Voice ... another success story (sort...
- Super Intern Contest ... winners and wrap-up
- Super Intern Contest ... starts now!
- Super Intern Contest - DRAGONS ARE PEOPLE, TOO
- Super Intern Contest - BETTER LIVES
- Super Intern Contest - WHAT THE WATER GAVE US
- Super Intern Contest - FIRE'S KISS
- Super Intern Contest - VIS DECOR: ALPHI
- Super Intern Contest - RACE TO BUTCH CASSIDY'S GO...
- Super Intern Contest - BROKEN
- Super Intern Contest - AN ABSENCE OF LIGHT
- Super Intern Contest - AND JAKOB FLEW THE FIEND A...
- Super Intern Contest - UNDER THE TREES
- Super Intern Contest - TWO PRINCESSES, ONE PRINCE...
- Super Intern Contest - DEAD SISTER DAYS
- Super Intern Contest - MY PROTECTOR: THE CALLING
- Super Intern Contest - GRACEFUL DEATH
- Super Intern Contest - THE IMAGINING OF ISADORA V...
- Super Intern Contest - OUTSIDE IN
- Super Intern Contest - SHE CAME FROM THE HILL
- Super Intern Contest - PLUGGED IN
- Super Intern Contest - DIAMOND TEARS
- Super Intern Contest - DUALITY
- Super Intern Contest - DAUGHTER OF THE MOON
- Super Intern Contest - CROSSING THE DEEP
- Super Intern Contest - ONLY ONE TIME
- Super Intern Contest - NUMBER BLUE
- Super Intern Contest - THE UNLEASHING
- Super Intern Contest - PELE AND YO-YO
- Super Intern Contest - FREEBORN
- Super Intern Contest - COVETED
- Super Intern Contest - I, SPY
- Super Intern Contest - GRIPPED
- BE HERE NOW: A Writer's Auction to Raise Funds for...
- Super Intern Contest ... entry winners
- A Pitch Madness Success ... the interview
- The Writer's Voice ... a success story
- Super Intern Contest
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June
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About me...
I write young adult and middle grade novels. I'm represented by Peter Knapp at Park Literary. Look for my debut young adult novel, LIBRARY JUMPERS releasing February, 2014.
Writing Links
- Peter Knapp: The Emperor of Ice Cream
- Park Literary
- Month9Books
- Query Tracker
- Publishers Marketplace
- The Association of Authors' Representatives
- Yapping About YA
- Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers of America
- Grammar Girl - Quick and Dirty Tips
- Pimp My Novel
- Guide to Literary Agents
- Evil Editor
- Absolute Write
- Agent Query
- Help I Need A Publisher

QUERY
ReplyDeleteOh, I've seen this before. I thought it was cute then. Still is. This is a well-written query. It highlights all the right stuff for us.
250
I love the beginning of this. It's full of voice. The writing in the 250 is really good too. It's easy to read and flows well. It's a little young for my taste, but it's written well. I probably would have read more.
Thank you for sharing your work ;o)