Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Super Intern Contest - I, SPY
Genre: sassy spy novel
Word count: 81,000
Query:
Dear Ms. Chapman,
Being an American spy in Ottawa, Canada, of all places, is pretty much the bottom rung of the ladder in terms of detecting threats and being in danger for CIA operative Talia Reynolds. But when the options are be careful or be killed,Talia has had “careful” drummed into her skull pretty hard—hard enough that she can’t tell her long-time boyfriend Danny about her top-secret occupation. Which becomes harder still when Talia finally catches a hot case and has to continually ditch Danny to seduce a Russian scientist/potential spy, all while juggling her inept coworker.
But when her datebook isn’t the only place her two lives crash in a ball of flames,Talia will have to choose to protect her secrets and her country, or the man she loves. Oh yeah, it’s going to be a night to remember.
I, Spy is a sassy spy novel, complete at 81,000 words.
My first published novel , tentatively titled Saints and Spies, is scheduled to come out in August 2013 with Covenant Communciations, a regional publisher. I currently serve as the Education Director for Authors Incognito, a writers’ group, coordinating and teaching classes for nearly 300 writers around the world. Other manuscripts have won first place in the mystery/suspense category of the LDStorymakers first chapter contest in both 2010 and 2011, and been named a finalist in the 2011 Sandy contest from Crested Butte Writers Conference.
Thank you for your time.
250-word excerpt:
I don’t do cat suits. The spandex/leather/plastic coatings female spies pour themselves into on TV are ridiculously impractical for actual spy trade craft: no mobility,reflective in low light, loud colors. There’s no better way to shout “I’m a covert operative!” than with a cat suit.
But I really wish I had one about now. At least it wouldn’t snag on every half-screwed bolt I come across in this narrow ventilation shaft. My clothes are dark, close fitting and comfortable no matter how I have to contort myself,but I can’t seem to move more than twenty feet without getting caught on something—like now. If I yank my pants hem free, my foot or knee could hit the metal flashing, and I can’t afford the noise with my target’s neighbors making dinner on the other side of the wall. I suck in a silent breath thick with their garlic and ginger, fighting back my rising pulse.
I’ve made it this far. I’m not about to let one more hitch stop me. I keep my weight distributed evenly as I lower myself to the bottom of the narrow tunnel. This looks a lot cooler on TV. James Bond never had to deal with wardrobe malfunctions. He also never faced off with Lashkar-e-Omar, or any other Islamic terrorist armies bent on killing people just because they were American.
And I’m not going to get a chance to do it either unless I can get to this apartment.“C’mon, Talia,” I whisper, like self-pep talks are effective.
Word count: 81,000
Query:
Dear Ms. Chapman,
Being an American spy in Ottawa, Canada, of all places, is pretty much the bottom rung of the ladder in terms of detecting threats and being in danger for CIA operative Talia Reynolds. But when the options are be careful or be killed,Talia has had “careful” drummed into her skull pretty hard—hard enough that she can’t tell her long-time boyfriend Danny about her top-secret occupation. Which becomes harder still when Talia finally catches a hot case and has to continually ditch Danny to seduce a Russian scientist/potential spy, all while juggling her inept coworker.
But when her datebook isn’t the only place her two lives crash in a ball of flames,Talia will have to choose to protect her secrets and her country, or the man she loves. Oh yeah, it’s going to be a night to remember.
I, Spy is a sassy spy novel, complete at 81,000 words.
My first published novel , tentatively titled Saints and Spies, is scheduled to come out in August 2013 with Covenant Communciations, a regional publisher. I currently serve as the Education Director for Authors Incognito, a writers’ group, coordinating and teaching classes for nearly 300 writers around the world. Other manuscripts have won first place in the mystery/suspense category of the LDStorymakers first chapter contest in both 2010 and 2011, and been named a finalist in the 2011 Sandy contest from Crested Butte Writers Conference.
Thank you for your time.
250-word excerpt:
I don’t do cat suits. The spandex/leather/plastic coatings female spies pour themselves into on TV are ridiculously impractical for actual spy trade craft: no mobility,reflective in low light, loud colors. There’s no better way to shout “I’m a covert operative!” than with a cat suit.
But I really wish I had one about now. At least it wouldn’t snag on every half-screwed bolt I come across in this narrow ventilation shaft. My clothes are dark, close fitting and comfortable no matter how I have to contort myself,but I can’t seem to move more than twenty feet without getting caught on something—like now. If I yank my pants hem free, my foot or knee could hit the metal flashing, and I can’t afford the noise with my target’s neighbors making dinner on the other side of the wall. I suck in a silent breath thick with their garlic and ginger, fighting back my rising pulse.
I’ve made it this far. I’m not about to let one more hitch stop me. I keep my weight distributed evenly as I lower myself to the bottom of the narrow tunnel. This looks a lot cooler on TV. James Bond never had to deal with wardrobe malfunctions. He also never faced off with Lashkar-e-Omar, or any other Islamic terrorist armies bent on killing people just because they were American.
And I’m not going to get a chance to do it either unless I can get to this apartment.“C’mon, Talia,” I whisper, like self-pep talks are effective.
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- Entangle an editor with your pitch!
- THAT DOGGONE VOICE WORKSHOP ... entry winners
- New Workshop on Voice ... it's not as elusive as y...
- The Writer's Voice ... another success story (sort...
- Super Intern Contest ... winners and wrap-up
- Super Intern Contest ... starts now!
- Super Intern Contest - DRAGONS ARE PEOPLE, TOO
- Super Intern Contest - BETTER LIVES
- Super Intern Contest - WHAT THE WATER GAVE US
- Super Intern Contest - FIRE'S KISS
- Super Intern Contest - VIS DECOR: ALPHI
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- Super Intern Contest - BROKEN
- Super Intern Contest - AN ABSENCE OF LIGHT
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- Super Intern Contest - UNDER THE TREES
- Super Intern Contest - TWO PRINCESSES, ONE PRINCE...
- Super Intern Contest - DEAD SISTER DAYS
- Super Intern Contest - MY PROTECTOR: THE CALLING
- Super Intern Contest - GRACEFUL DEATH
- Super Intern Contest - THE IMAGINING OF ISADORA V...
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- Super Intern Contest - NUMBER BLUE
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- Super Intern Contest - PELE AND YO-YO
- Super Intern Contest - FREEBORN
- Super Intern Contest - COVETED
- Super Intern Contest - I, SPY
- Super Intern Contest - GRIPPED
- BE HERE NOW: A Writer's Auction to Raise Funds for...
- Super Intern Contest ... entry winners
- A Pitch Madness Success ... the interview
- The Writer's Voice ... a success story
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2012
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June
(68)
- THAT DOGGONE VOICE WORKSHOP
- DOGGONE VOICE: PEREGRINE
- DOGGONE VOICE: BETTER LIVES
- DOGGONE VOICE: BROKEN
- DOGGONE VOICE: MIRRORMASTERS
- DOGGONE VOICE: SPARK
- DOGGONE VOICE: SHADOWS OF DESTINY
- DOGGONE VOICE: WHERE THERE IS DARK
- DOGGONE VOICE: CROW'S REST (WIP)
- DOGGONE VOICE: FINDING ESTA
- DOGGONE VOICE: WHAT HAPPENS IN WATER
- DOGGONE VOICE: ABEL PIRATES
- DOGGONE VOICE: STARRY KNIGHT
- DOGGONE VOICE: FIRE'S KISS
- DOGGONE VOICE: KISSING FROGS
- DOGGONE VOICE: HARVESTER
- DOGGONE VOICE: THE SHIFTING DARKNESS
- DOGGONE VOICE: FREEBORN
- DOGGONE VOICE: RELIC
- DOGGONE VOICE: SHE CAME FROM THE HILL
- DOGGONE VOICE: LOVE IN REAL LIFE
- DOGGONE VOICE: SYLVAN LEGACY
- DOGGONE VOICE EXT: TAGESTRAUM
- DOGGONE VOICE EXT: THE UNLEASHING
- DOGGONE VOICE EXT: HAUNTED LEGACY
- DOGGONE VOICE EXT: SOUTHERN FORTUNE
- DOGGONE VOICE EXT: NIRVANA, INC.
- Entangle an editor with your pitch!
- THAT DOGGONE VOICE WORKSHOP ... entry winners
- New Workshop on Voice ... it's not as elusive as y...
- The Writer's Voice ... another success story (sort...
- Super Intern Contest ... winners and wrap-up
- Super Intern Contest ... starts now!
- Super Intern Contest - DRAGONS ARE PEOPLE, TOO
- Super Intern Contest - BETTER LIVES
- Super Intern Contest - WHAT THE WATER GAVE US
- Super Intern Contest - FIRE'S KISS
- Super Intern Contest - VIS DECOR: ALPHI
- Super Intern Contest - RACE TO BUTCH CASSIDY'S GO...
- Super Intern Contest - BROKEN
- Super Intern Contest - AN ABSENCE OF LIGHT
- Super Intern Contest - AND JAKOB FLEW THE FIEND A...
- Super Intern Contest - UNDER THE TREES
- Super Intern Contest - TWO PRINCESSES, ONE PRINCE...
- Super Intern Contest - DEAD SISTER DAYS
- Super Intern Contest - MY PROTECTOR: THE CALLING
- Super Intern Contest - GRACEFUL DEATH
- Super Intern Contest - THE IMAGINING OF ISADORA V...
- Super Intern Contest - OUTSIDE IN
- Super Intern Contest - SHE CAME FROM THE HILL
- Super Intern Contest - PLUGGED IN
- Super Intern Contest - DIAMOND TEARS
- Super Intern Contest - DUALITY
- Super Intern Contest - DAUGHTER OF THE MOON
- Super Intern Contest - CROSSING THE DEEP
- Super Intern Contest - ONLY ONE TIME
- Super Intern Contest - NUMBER BLUE
- Super Intern Contest - THE UNLEASHING
- Super Intern Contest - PELE AND YO-YO
- Super Intern Contest - FREEBORN
- Super Intern Contest - COVETED
- Super Intern Contest - I, SPY
- Super Intern Contest - GRIPPED
- BE HERE NOW: A Writer's Auction to Raise Funds for...
- Super Intern Contest ... entry winners
- A Pitch Madness Success ... the interview
- The Writer's Voice ... a success story
- Super Intern Contest
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About me...
I write young adult and middle grade novels. I'm represented by Peter Knapp at Park Literary. Look for my debut young adult novel, LIBRARY JUMPERS releasing February, 2014.
Writing Links
- Peter Knapp: The Emperor of Ice Cream
- Park Literary
- Month9Books
- Query Tracker
- Publishers Marketplace
- The Association of Authors' Representatives
- Yapping About YA
- Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers of America
- Grammar Girl - Quick and Dirty Tips
- Pimp My Novel
- Guide to Literary Agents
- Evil Editor
- Absolute Write
- Agent Query
- Help I Need A Publisher

I'm not sure Sassy Spy Novel is a genre. I would just go with Mystery or Spy Novel. Think about where it would go on a bookshelf.
ReplyDeleteQUERY
This is a little short. I like the first sentence, but it's a bit wordy. I think you can break this up into two and it will still make sense. I need more details, I think. You don't really show us what happens? I know that she has trouble with juggling her relationship and spying, but what happens to her? Is it a government conspiracy? Do the Russians invade US?
250
The first sentence is incredibly long. I would shorten it. I do like her voice. It's sassy, which is the point, right? I like this. It's full of voice and the writing is decent. The sentences are a bit long at times, but I can get over that if the content and voice is good. I'm nor sure it did enough for me to read more. I'd like to get a better idea of what happens.
Thank you for sharing your work ;o)
Thanks for your feedback, Erica!
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome!
ReplyDelete