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Saturday, December 11, 2010
Midwinter Blogfest (check out my entry for the Harry Potter Blogfest just below this one)
Here's the rules: "What does your MC do for Midwinter? Any special celebrations? Yule, Christmas? Celebrations for a midwinter solstice? A Festival of Light? A Wild Hunt? Perhaps something else completely? Christmas on the beach or winter in June? Maybe your MC has good memories of a winter’s day past when life was easier before the story you as Evil Writer wrote?"
So I've dusted of an old project about a Christmas miracle I wrote when I was younger. This scene is not of happier times for my MC but of the worst time for her before a miracle happens. I hope you enjoy it, and please keep in mind that I was really REALLY young when I wrote it. Cheers!
A fat snowflake hit the window and melted as it made a trail down the glass pane. Mom's laborious breathing trembled in the background. Nana should have been here by now. I drew a heart with my finger on the fogged window. Then I etched the letters M-O-M in the middle of the heart and turned to look at Mom. She gave me a faint smile.
Everything about Mom was beautiful except her name, Lee, which was simple. The name fit her when she was younger because she was a real tomboy, always running with the boys, digging up worms, and fishing the pond out by Nana and Pop's lake house.
“Shelby, you’re going to catch a death--,” Lee said around a craggy cough. “Come sit by me.” She patted the bed beside her.
I abandoned my vigil at the window seat and snuggled up to her on the bed. “Why hasn’t she gotten here yet?” I whispered.
Mom coughed again. “Probably a delay due to the weather, not to worry she'll be here in time.”
"I hate living here, everything takes forever to happen."
"Oh? Well, I love living here, cause everything seems to last longer." The air caught in Mom's throat, and she wheezed. "It'll be dark soon. Why don't you hit the lights, and we'll give Nana a grand welcoming."
"Okay. Did you want anything while I'm up?"
"Water would be nice."
I walked into the loft landing and headed down the stairs. Headlights streaked across the foyer as I reached the bottom. I darted to the light switch that Dad had rigged the Christmas lights to and flipped it. The outdoors turned into a wonderland of white and red lights. I hurried to the great room, bent behind the Christmas tree, and stuck the plug into the outlet. The tree awoke and its lights brightened the entire room. My feet slipped across the floor as I rushed to the door and yanked it open just before Dad had a chance to insert the key.
"Hey, Dad," I said and hurried past him to fling my arms around Nana.
"My, my, Shelby," Nana said, pulling back to scan me. "Let me take a good look at you. Shelby Beaumont, I declare, you're such a young lady. You look just like your Mama."
"I was just with you five months ago, Nana. I couldn't of changed that much."
"I tell you, you have. Oh, and I haven't forgotten your birthday gift. I can hardly believe you're fourteen. I wish I were here for it. I would've sent the gift but it's too valuable to send by mail . . . and I wouldn't even trust the express service either. It's been handed down generations, older than Jesus' birth even."
"I'll just put your bags in the guest room," Dad interrupted.
"Thank you, Gerard." Her eyes followed him as he went up the stairs and then she turned to me. "You did a wonderful job on the Christmas decorations. It looks just like your mother did it herself."
I gave her a tight smiled. "Thanks." The thought of Mom not having the strength to decorate the house herself slammed against my heart.
"Mom's been trying to stay up to see you," I said, shaking away the thought. "I was just getting her a drink of water and I'll meet you up there."
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Brenda Drake
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Hi,
ReplyDeleteLove the Christmas feel around here, very festive, but we've plenty of snow already. ;)
Lovely story, and so apt with young teen seeing life as slow moving. Affection between the characters is very touching, yet air of tragedy prevails and tugs at my heart-strings.
best
F
Aww. This is sweet. You really get a feel for Shelby and how much she loves her mom and nana. It's pretty amazing that you wrote this when you were "really REALLY young." lol
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing :)
It is nice how much Shelby loves her family, and really sad to think her mother's bedridden at Christmas.
ReplyDeleteVery Christmassy feel around your blog at the moment, I feel rather like I'm standing in a snowstorm (tee hee).
Rach
Brenda this was really nicely written, and i am hoping by the time they return to Lee's room she would still be alive.
ReplyDeleteWhat a well written passage, quietly sentimental at Christmastime. It's a great time of year for family stories like this ...
ReplyDeletevery well done for a younger person, well written I could see the image well, and how sad, but kind of sweet at the same time.
ReplyDeleteThis is a well-written piece, and I enjoyed reading your entry. :)
ReplyDeleteNothing to apologize for this was a great story and we can feel the characters concern. I give it three thumbs up.
ReplyDeleteNancy
N. R. Williams, fantasy author
I think you nailed Shelby's character!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing the love Brenda. A lovely Christmas tale. And so pretty in this lovely Christmas blog skin. I can get my Christmas snow just by popping by!
ReplyDeleteOh, I love it! Shelby is very sweet!
ReplyDeleteVery nicely written, many thanks. And my, I think your blog out-Christmases us all!
ReplyDeleteThis is a very touching piece. It's obvious that family means a lot to the MC, and it's sad that her mom is sick for Christmas...
ReplyDeletePS.I really love your blog's Christmas look! (kinda puts mine to shame ;-])
This is such a wonderful piece, I love the sense of family :) Very well done!
ReplyDeleteI loved the family feel of this and the descripton of Lee/Mom and how she loves her.
ReplyDeleteWell done on becoming a finalist!
ReplyDelete